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just met a cute girl at this wedding i’m at like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card. we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag. then sports get brought up, she says it “i watch football” my ears PERKED up i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team” she said “i’m a giants fan” and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number but i am not a normal person my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the team?” she looked confused i kept going “Darius Slayton as our WR2? Are you kidding me. Matt Nagy as our OC? Did you see what he did to Patrick Mahomes? Our franchise qb and franchise edge rusher hate each other. And we traded away our superstar DT” she laughed nervously and said “what” and i said “And don’t even get me started on Cam Skattebo basically trying to get himself injured” she said “what” and i said “so do you even follow the team” she said “I literally have a Darius Slayton Jersey” the vibe was GONE just vanished. Just like Daniel Jones in primetime. her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back. i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this Darius Slayton deserved that contract. my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked into you what happened” i said “she’s a casual” he said “so?” SO??? i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind could’ve had her number she could’ve been the mother of my children COULD’VE. but now at least she knows i know ball and honestly that’s worth more

We've got a fun one tonight 🍿 Fresh off Caitlin Clark's historic night, the @IndianaFever welcome the @nyliberty for a primetime showdown on CBS. The @minnesotalynx look to keep rolling against the @theportlandfire, while the @valkyries return home to face the @WashMystics. 📺 NYL-IND | 8:00pm/ET | CBS, Paramount+ 📺 PDX-MIN | 8:00pm/ET | League Pass 📺 WAS-GSV | 8:30pm/ET | League Pass

this has to be a top 3 alvin kamara game, 200 total yds with 2tds. and bro was out there with the diamonds in his mouth on primetime first nfl player to go diamond grill in a game.

🚨 NOW: Karoline Leavitt has just walked out to begin her FIRST press briefing since going on maternity leave in April Right off the bat, Leavitt confirmed President Trump's primetime address tonight will be on "protecting the integrity of our elections" Welcome back, @PressSec!

Tomorrow, President Trump is giving a primetime speech. It’s a nice change, because in this kind of heat you’re supposed to check in on the elderly, but this time, he’s checking in with us. #FallonTonight#

Afternoon hoops, then a primetime finale 🏀 The @seattlestorm and @chicagosky get the day started, with both teams looking to build momentum. Then, the @LASparks visit the league-leading @minnesotalynx before the @valkyries and @IndianaFever close out the slate! 📺 12:00pm/ET | SEA-CHI | League Pass 📺 1:00pm/ET | LAS-MIN | Free on League Pass with WNBA ID 📺 8:00pm/ET | GSV-IND | USA Network