Simons (@Simon_Ingari)
@Simon_Ingari
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Dumb employees:
- Silent in meetings
- Craving for promotions
- Salary increase 3%-10%
- Resigns using official email
- Take sick day on Monday/Friday
- Don't befriend people getting fired
- Tells coworkers when they're leaving
- Use their work laptop for personal use
- Use work Wi-Fi on your personal phones.
- Forward work emails to their personal gmail
Smart employees:
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HR: Can you share your payslip?
Dumb candidate :
- Okay no problem
- I'm not comfortable sharing it
- Payslip is private and confidential
Smart candidate :
HR : Choose your preferred interview time.
Dumb candidate : 11:00 AM
Smart candidate :
Interviewer: Congratulations, you have passed.
Candidate : Thank you .
Interviewer: What was your previous salary?
Candidate: 5500 per day
Interviewer: Whaat? That's 165,000 monthly. We only have a budget of 145,000
Candidate: Sorry, could you please repeat the question?
Interviewer: What was your previous salary?
Candidate: ↓↓
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2021: 72,000 salary increase
2022: 74,000 salary increase
2023: 76,000 salary increase
2024: 78,000 salary increase
2025: 80,000 salary increase
2026:
Employee: “Kindly accept my resignation.”
Boss: “But we have been increasing your salary! Why are you leaving?”
Employee: “I’ve received a new job offer with a salary of 170,000, and there’s also a guaranteed 40% annual raise based on performance.”
24 hours later…
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